What to do? What to do?

Sometimes it's hard to be the man that always has the plan.  Well this post will be a little cheat sheet on ideas of what to do and where to go on a date.  It can be for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd... dates.  It's not necessarily that you should do exactly what's on the list, but help show you the path to creative ideas for having a fun, unique date.  This will lead her to finding you to be a fun and unique guy and falling madly in love with you and running away with you to fulfill your every dream and fantasy.  Wellll...maybe not that extreme...in every case, but it will definitely score you some brownie points that always tend to come in handy later :)  Come on fellas, it's time to get a little more creative then just a nice dinner with good convo (sometimes not even that :) ).

I am going to reiterate something I briefly mentioned in "First Step".  If you remember, I spoke about how different dates will bring out different bonding emotions between you two.  It's along the same lines as the appraisal theory.  Yes folks, there is a legit term for this.  Appraisal theory has to do with the idea of emotions being extracted from your assessment of a situation that will cause a specific reaction in a person.  This occurs especially on a first date.  If the date is viewed as positive, then emotions such as happiness, joy, excitement, or other similar emotions can occur.  It is appraised as something that could be a positive long term thing in their life such as a new relationship, engagement, and even marriage.  WAIT!!! Don't run just because I said 3 phrases men highly fear.  Let's face it...we are women and you know what you're getting yourself into if you pursue us.  We like long term and we want to be married one day (some girls struggle waiting for that one day more than others. Typically those women own many cats ;) ).  Learn to accept this before asking us out ;) Now, if a date is perceived as negative, then emotions could have a very bad effect and create sadness, disappointment, and even fear (fear her hope is floating away).   I can go on and on about this theory, but I don't want to impress you too much with my profound knowledge ;)  And remember certain activities will bond you differently.  A movie probably will not bond you too much, whereas hiking or kayaking might bring out an adventurous bond you two will then share.  There are many activities that I can give you examples to, but you should be smart enough to figure it out.  If all else fails, Google is a very intelligent friend of yours.

Get to know your girl.  There are typically four different personality types.  Chances are that even if she isn't exactly just one, there is one that is more dominant than another.  Is she a romantic, artistic type?  How about adventurous?  Is she your sexy intellectual?  Or lastly is she just your more down-to-earth, doesn't need much, non risk taker type?  Once you narrow this down it will help you figure out what types of ideas you could use for that special first date.  I will do date ideas based off of these personality types.  Can't get much more first dates for dummies than this ;)

Romantic, artsy type...Well this is the girl you want to pull out all the stops.  She probably has Sleepless in Seattle memorized, so fair warning...you're competing against Tom Hanks/ Meg Ryan movie standards.  This is the girl you want to make sure you bring flowers or something of sentiment when you pick her up/ meet her.  She really reads into this stuff.  Take her to a romantic restaurant.  This doesn't necessarily mean fancy, but cozy and private (no Applebee's. think more a small Italian restaurant not many know about).  This way you can focus on each other and not on people watching (although people watching is a great date idea...but probably not for this personality type :) ).  Some towns, such as Laguna Beach, do art walks.  These are great.  It doesn't cost, it's fun, it creates lots of conversation, and it gives you a better idea of what she likes and dislikes.  Another idea is a play.  It's not quite like a movie because typically there is intermission where you will talk about the play and afterwards you can both talk to the characters.  If you're not into plays, search out a drive in theater.  Yet another take on a movie date, but so much more romantic and interactive.  If you live in a safe, not too busy town take her on a one way walk.  Just walk and walk and walk all over.  You can even have a destination in mind.  For example, start from the restaurant after dinner and walk across town to your favorite dessert spot or your secret special spot.  Just take a cab back, boat, subway, citibike, carriage, or any other mode of transportation that can be made to be fun and romantic.   If for some reason none of these ideas help you, then you have lucked out.  The romantic girl is the easiest to please.  For more ideas just refer to ANY romantic movie from the 80's.  John Cusack ones in particular.  Now there's advice only a girl would give you :)  

The adventurous gal...welllll if I had to choose a favorite, it would definitely be this one.  This is going to be for a girl that likes to get up and do stuff.  She's typically open to trying something new (no gentleman...I'm not just referencing in the bedroom).  Don't just take her to a dinner, make it a dinner theater or scavenger hunt to a picnic spot on a water tower or other special spot she'll be stoked on (however, if you met online she may feel safer in a public place...just a heads up).  Find a great trail in your area with an amazing view or waterfall.  Even pack a little picnic and eat at the top.  If you want to get her in a swimsuit, take her on a jet ski (no girl would EVER be bummed about a date like this...even if it does mean her hair gets messed up) or a kayak.  If there is a rock climbing gym in your area, try that out.  It's great for all levels.  For something not so over the top, you could just go have some fun at Dave and Busters.  Make it a competition though and see who can win the most tickets or score the most points (I don't recommend eating dinner there though.  Not the most memorable meal, unless you want her to remember how gross she feels the next day :) ).  For a special dessert idea, you could go get an array of chocolates and blindfold her and have her figure out which is which (doesn't have to just be chocolates.  This could be food as well. Make sure you know dietary restrictions though).  Something that could be fun for adventurous or romantic type is a dance class.  Who knows, if the date goes well maybe you could make it a weekly thing.  But make sure her eyes stay focussed on you and not the highly skilled male instructor (this might've happened to me once :) ).  Salsa or latin is fun since it brings out a romantic, sensual side, but keeps you active and smiling the whole time.  Be silly with it and bring a rose to stick in your mouth :)  Also once you learn some moves you can do an impromptu dance with her on a walk later or your next date (or another random spot like a hallway or lobby).  A cheap silly, yet fun, date would be an obstacle course at a park.  Set up a little race there using the equipment and let the races begin!  To make it even more interesting, put a wager on it.  Like the loser has to give the winner a neck massage (which helps to get you out of the friends zone incase you feared lingering there) or has to do 30 pushups (you could lose intentionally just to show off your pushup skills. ohhh lala).  Tell her to meet in a discreet costume.  Like Loise Lane and you will be Clark Kent.  Or Bonny and Clyde.  Then do something Superman-ish like carry her to her door at the end.  Or to an arcade and play shooting games.  A simple game of truth or dare is always fun for the adventurous type.  However, plan on doing a lot of dares yourself.  Caution...you are not a teenager anymore, so make sure the clothes stay on and keep your kisses to yourself...atleast until later.  Don't be too cliche.  Lastly, kareoke.  Need I say more?  There are so many different adventurous ideas.  I could go on and on and ....well you get it :)  If you need even more of a cheat sheet go to the website Howaboutwe.com.  They have great ideas you can steal from.  Or just google in your town adventurous things to do.  But I think the above will leave your girl highly impressed with your unforgettable first impression :)

Next is your smarty pants woman.  She might be the girl that works in politics or spends her Friday nights with a book instead of at a lounge with her girlfriends.  You should have a pretty good idea if this is the girl you're aiming for.  You could do something simple like meet at a coffee shop and tell her  to bring her favorite book.  You bring yours and talk about what each other likes/dislikes about the book.  Google if there is a planetarium in your area.  These are great and sometimes they do laser light shows that are always fun.  Every city has a science center.  Go spend the day being a kid and checking out all the amazing scientific ideas there.  This is the girl that is great to do the museum date with.  But to make it interesting, find a really unique type of museum.  Huntington Beach has a small little museum of surfing.  It's both informative and not your typical museum date.  Although big museums like LACMA or Getty or the Met are definitely amazing places as well.  Try to see if there is anything you can do to make it more special.  Maybe they have a special area you can take her to and have a little appetizer waiting.  For dinner, instead of a regular restaurant, find one that has a unique historical background.  It gives you a built in conversation to the date and it will make the restaurant that much more fascinating for her.  A simple idea would be a nice dinner-to-go and eat in the park and play Scrabble.  With a bottle of wine and even bread to feed the ducks (this will add the romantic element).  Go to the library and each pick out a book about something that really intrigues you.  Then read up a little about it.  Most likely you will both learn something amazing and new about the world...and this can be bonding in it's own simple way.   Keep in mind that although intellectual may be her dominant personality trait, she probably has a close second.  So incorporate that into your date idea.  

Last, but not least is your non risk taker, simple girl.  She does not need to be blown away with the helicopter tour or the horse ride on the beach.  For her sometimes going out is hassle because she has other things she could be getting done.  So make it a date she will feel she was productive with.  Take a cooking class.  A sushi making class is always great.  And how awesome will she feel when she makes sushi at her next home get together.  Have fun with it.  Make silly faces with the food.  Or feed each other foods you wouldn't normally try...even if it has eyeballs on it and is staring back at you :)  Find a local farmers market.  Pick up fresh food and make dinner at home (even if she picks up food for her own personal use later in the week, you still need to pay.  It's gentlemanly.  Plus it's a farmers market...just pay for the bag of apples and loaf of bread! :) ).  The holidays are coming up.  Search out a great place to get Christmas trees (some lots are much cheaper than others).  Go pick one out and help her set it up.  Bring a homemade ornament set and make your own decorations together.  Plus she will LOVE the help of getting the tree (the needles will make a mess, but she will just remember what a helpful stud you are for being such a thoughtful man).  Since this girl is not a risk taker, you can stick with something simple like going to the zoo.  That's always fun and interesting.  Interact with the animals...the ones that won't bite your hand off will probably be best :)  Finding a nice outdoor park with live band is good for this girl.  However, make sure it's music she will enjoy and that it's not too loud, so you can hear each other talk.  Bring a blanket and bottle of wine or little veggie platter to make the date even more practical and romantic.  If you each have a dog, bring your pets to a dog park and let them play.  This will probably put her even a little at ease having her "friend" with her.  If you think she has is slightly adventurous trait then take her to a medieval times type dinner.  It's entertainment while you eat.  Super fun and hard not to have a great time together.  Take her out to a nice dinner in a great window shopping neighborhood.  After you eat, wander the streets imagining you have Oprah's bank account (side note: if you do get to a second date, show up with a little trinket of something she liked in the window {classier to do it for the second date, so she sees that you remembered and listened}).  For a dessert idea, go to 31 flavors and order each other 3 different flavors.  You will have to try out the flavors she got for you and vice versa.  It's ice cream...how bad could it be :)  (if she is lactose intolerant, make sure you pick out sorbet...it's for both of you's best interest).  Just remember this is the girl that you want to play it safe with.  Don't plan anything that you even hesitate for one minute that she may not be ok with.  By the 2nd and 3rd date you will get to know her better and know how much more creative you can get.  Better to err on the side of caution.   She may be simplistic, but by no means does that mean she is boring or doesn't appreciate a thoughtful date.  

Even though the date is about the both of you getting to know each other and feel each other out (no fellas...I don't mean that literally), the first date needs to be catered to her.  Remember, you pursued her, so make sure you leave her impressed and wanting more.  Have it be comfortable for her so she will be at ease to be her best self and not a nervous nelly (even though you don't look like Paul Walker, we do get very uneasy/jittery usually).  Common knowledge shows that relationships are stronger if you build a friendship as a foundation.  Think about your best buddies.  Did you guys become best friends from going out to eat and just talking?  Or did your friendship grow thicker through playing football together or going on a snowboarding trip.  Or the most bonding thing between guys...a Vegas trip that you all have to have a solid alibi for. Tisk tisk ;)  Obviously you don't want with this girl what you have with your buddies, but it just goes to show that a deeper bond will form with the more activities you do together.  A good conversation is always great and a must.  It really helps you to get to know each other.  But do something that will bring you closer together.  She'll love humbly bragging to all her girlfriends how the guy she went out with took her on a scavenger hunt to a picnic atop a city view building.  Or how you two learned to tango then practiced some at the end of a pier.  Just thinking about the great time she had will make her smile.  And when she feels that happy feeling and relates it to you...well that's a very good thing incase you didn't already know :)  To make sure the smile lasts all week, send her flowers the next day.  Not roses necessarily but maybe even an orchid (orchids last even longer...and the longer the better for you).  Be the guy that inspires her Pinterest posts.  If you don't know what Pinterest is...well then you don't know women at all :)  Keep in the boundaries of comfort, excitement, and some romance.  Break the mold fellas...go out of your comfort zone of the typical date.  Even if things don't work out, atleast you had a great time...and maybe you can notch it up to a learning experience.  Practice makes perfect.  And you my charming protege's are perfection in training ;)   

 Hearing In Your Eyes still
makes me smile :)

Think of this as inspiration

This guy would make any girl super nervous.
However, don't underestimate yourselves...
you make us nervous nelly's too ;)
(ladies...this pic is to show my appreciation
for you reading this post)

Let's just hope neither of you needs to use the restroom :)

awwwww...there's a bit of romantic type in every woman

Have fun at an arcade.  If you do a racing
game most likely you will win, but don't
bag on her bad driving skills too much...
after all...she's female...bad driving is in
her DNA ;)

We all hope the 1st date will eventually lead to this.
COMMITMENT! Muahahahahaha! ;D  lighten up...
I'm teasing....well....kinda ;) 

Ummmmm....

                

On their Bonnie and Clyde dress up
date they had a blast.  Probably cuz they
just made lots of money at the bank
they robbed :)