First Step
Be the man with a plan! A woman loves a man that shows the initiative to take charge. Even a woman that can be dominant still likes to see the man be a "man". She does not want to be picked up for a date and then be asked "so what do you feel like eating?" or "know of any good restaurants?". Know exactly where you are going to take her and know exactly what your plans will be for after the meal portion of the date. (note: dates don't always have to consist of dinner and after dinner event. Some of the best dates are the ones that are very creative and catch her completely off guard...in a good way.) One thing that is an absolute must is that you pay. You asked her out. So no "going dutch" or "split this" or "I'll get the tickets and you get the drinks". It is custom that the man pay. Don't get all women's rights on a first date just because it suits your wallet. Before you even plan the date, talk to her about her likes and dislikes. She will appreciate that you do care about what interests her, whether that be with food or activities.
I forgot to mention the very important second first impression. When you go to pick her up. Do not come empty handed. It may not be Valentine's day, but it is still a great time to bring a girl some flowers. After all, atleast if the date goes bad, she will think "atleast I got some beautiful flowers out of it" which will still leave her with even a somewhat fond memory of you. Flowers aren't the only thing you could bring her. Think of something she may have told you, like a favorite sports team or a favorite animal. Just be creative and even if it's something very small, in this case it really is "the thought that counts". Plus it can score you brownie points which you may need later on to make up for one of your temporary downfalls like onion breath or not ordering dessert (even though she said she "couldn't possibly").
A small note, yet very important one is to make sure that if you pick her up that you clean your car that day. This includes throwing away the trash and vacuuming. You could even get one of those scents in there...it might help cover up other odors you became immune to. Oh YOU know what odors I'm talkin about :) These days it's not uncommon to meet your date at a location. This is still no excuse to not have your car be clean. In the off chance that she does see your ride (as some women do, possibly to help size you up: sports car= fun guy, suv/truck= practical yet manly aaand she can ask for help if she needs something moved which we all know is your favorite thing to offer as a truck owner :), sedan= modest and practical, motorcycle= risk taker/ slightly stupid {although we probably will get a little giddy if you offer a ride}, little truck= not quite a man but working on it, biiiig truck= big ego and small...manpower ;) ) you want to make sure she will not be disappointed in your carkeeping (housekeeping, but for a vehicle) abilities. Note: it never hurts to keep a bottle of febreeze and some car wipies for quick clean up.
As previously discussed there is the very important tip...your appearance. You need to make sure you are wearing the proper attire. Please don't be a Scott Disick and wear suites to any and every occasion (I don't pride myself on the fact that I know who he is, but I recommend that you know him to know how to and how not to dress {he is a very sharp dresser...just overkill 87% of the time}) (also...shhhhhh...do NOT tell anyone I've kept up with the Kardashians!!!! This never happened :-O ). Is your date more casual? Then dress it down, but not too much. Are you taking her to a fine dining restaurant? Then look sharp. This will leave that lasting first second impression. The most important thing is that you tell her too. Clue her in as to a general idea of the plan. For example say "dress warm" or "dress up" or "wear comfortable shoes", etc. As the man you should always keep an extra blanket in the trunk of the car or an extra jacket just incase she "gets cold". It might be cliche, but if it works in the movies then it may work for you too. SCORE! (and I don't mean that in the "homerun" sense men!)
Choose an appropriate activity. We discussed above that there are many options. Dates don't have to be dinner and a movie or a "coffee date". The more clever the date, the more impressed she is that you spent time thinking about what to do. Side note: some activities will bring you closer together, help you trust one another, stir up chemistry, and several other mental and emotional bonding feelings. Decide which side you want to show her first...the fun side: go dancing, bowling, or to the arcade (nothing wrong with being a kid again. It shows a humility and boyish side which most women find quite charming). The trusting side: go rock climbing or skydiving (this is both challenging and helps you to trust one another in a light and daring way). The personal side: walk on the beach or to an art museum (art museum you can discuss your perceptions of art which can show many levels to a person. Walking on the beach is again in the cliche category, but it's hard not to love it and it's great to open up to each other). Whatever you choose to do though, make sure she will be comfortable doing it too. If she is afraid of heights then rock climbing or skydiving is not a good idea. If she is concerned about her appearance (which most women are especially on the first date) then don't take her swimming or on a boat where her hair will get blown every which way (this is for the benefit of both of you...she won't want to feel insecure about how she looks on a first date and you definitely will not be ready to see how bad her appearance is capable of getting). Also if you choose something that she will let loose and have fun and be relaxed with, then she is more likely to be herself which is basically the whole purpose of a date anyways...to find out if you like who each other really is.
In conclusion preparing for the first date has more detail that what the typical man expects. It may not be our most appealing quality, but women can tend to overanalyze. This is especially true when she is first getting to know you. The first impression, and second first impression, can leave a burning memory in her mind. Think of the different perception she will have of you if you take her to a salsa class then to a Latin restaurant versus if you took her to El Torito and a movie. You don't want her going home to fantasize about the hunk in the movie whisking her away, but instead laugh out loud at the memory you left of trying to do some sexy salsa move that went wrong. You want her remembering how you offered her your coat to keep her from getting cold. Not how she came home and was still numb from the chilly walk you went on. You don't want her thinking about how she doesn't remember any of the conversation at Coffee Bean because she was too busy drooling over the barista...and the lustful chocolate doughnut...because the conversation was so dull, rather how she felt the commonalities you two had while talking on your sunset stroll. First dates already get a bad rep. You can change that though. Even if it doesn't work out for you two, atleast she will hold your first date up as the standard she expects with the other men in her future. And maybe they haven't read this awesome blog and they will fail miserably and she will then want you even more. Just sayin ;)
Next week: The first date etiquette
I forgot to mention the very important second first impression. When you go to pick her up. Do not come empty handed. It may not be Valentine's day, but it is still a great time to bring a girl some flowers. After all, atleast if the date goes bad, she will think "atleast I got some beautiful flowers out of it" which will still leave her with even a somewhat fond memory of you. Flowers aren't the only thing you could bring her. Think of something she may have told you, like a favorite sports team or a favorite animal. Just be creative and even if it's something very small, in this case it really is "the thought that counts". Plus it can score you brownie points which you may need later on to make up for one of your temporary downfalls like onion breath or not ordering dessert (even though she said she "couldn't possibly").
A small note, yet very important one is to make sure that if you pick her up that you clean your car that day. This includes throwing away the trash and vacuuming. You could even get one of those scents in there...it might help cover up other odors you became immune to. Oh YOU know what odors I'm talkin about :) These days it's not uncommon to meet your date at a location. This is still no excuse to not have your car be clean. In the off chance that she does see your ride (as some women do, possibly to help size you up: sports car= fun guy, suv/truck= practical yet manly aaand she can ask for help if she needs something moved which we all know is your favorite thing to offer as a truck owner :), sedan= modest and practical, motorcycle= risk taker/ slightly stupid {although we probably will get a little giddy if you offer a ride}, little truck= not quite a man but working on it, biiiig truck= big ego and small...manpower ;) ) you want to make sure she will not be disappointed in your carkeeping (housekeeping, but for a vehicle) abilities. Note: it never hurts to keep a bottle of febreeze and some car wipies for quick clean up.
As previously discussed there is the very important tip...your appearance. You need to make sure you are wearing the proper attire. Please don't be a Scott Disick and wear suites to any and every occasion (I don't pride myself on the fact that I know who he is, but I recommend that you know him to know how to and how not to dress {he is a very sharp dresser...just overkill 87% of the time}) (also...shhhhhh...do NOT tell anyone I've kept up with the Kardashians!!!! This never happened :-O ). Is your date more casual? Then dress it down, but not too much. Are you taking her to a fine dining restaurant? Then look sharp. This will leave that lasting first second impression. The most important thing is that you tell her too. Clue her in as to a general idea of the plan. For example say "dress warm" or "dress up" or "wear comfortable shoes", etc. As the man you should always keep an extra blanket in the trunk of the car or an extra jacket just incase she "gets cold". It might be cliche, but if it works in the movies then it may work for you too. SCORE! (and I don't mean that in the "homerun" sense men!)
Choose an appropriate activity. We discussed above that there are many options. Dates don't have to be dinner and a movie or a "coffee date". The more clever the date, the more impressed she is that you spent time thinking about what to do. Side note: some activities will bring you closer together, help you trust one another, stir up chemistry, and several other mental and emotional bonding feelings. Decide which side you want to show her first...the fun side: go dancing, bowling, or to the arcade (nothing wrong with being a kid again. It shows a humility and boyish side which most women find quite charming). The trusting side: go rock climbing or skydiving (this is both challenging and helps you to trust one another in a light and daring way). The personal side: walk on the beach or to an art museum (art museum you can discuss your perceptions of art which can show many levels to a person. Walking on the beach is again in the cliche category, but it's hard not to love it and it's great to open up to each other). Whatever you choose to do though, make sure she will be comfortable doing it too. If she is afraid of heights then rock climbing or skydiving is not a good idea. If she is concerned about her appearance (which most women are especially on the first date) then don't take her swimming or on a boat where her hair will get blown every which way (this is for the benefit of both of you...she won't want to feel insecure about how she looks on a first date and you definitely will not be ready to see how bad her appearance is capable of getting). Also if you choose something that she will let loose and have fun and be relaxed with, then she is more likely to be herself which is basically the whole purpose of a date anyways...to find out if you like who each other really is.
In conclusion preparing for the first date has more detail that what the typical man expects. It may not be our most appealing quality, but women can tend to overanalyze. This is especially true when she is first getting to know you. The first impression, and second first impression, can leave a burning memory in her mind. Think of the different perception she will have of you if you take her to a salsa class then to a Latin restaurant versus if you took her to El Torito and a movie. You don't want her going home to fantasize about the hunk in the movie whisking her away, but instead laugh out loud at the memory you left of trying to do some sexy salsa move that went wrong. You want her remembering how you offered her your coat to keep her from getting cold. Not how she came home and was still numb from the chilly walk you went on. You don't want her thinking about how she doesn't remember any of the conversation at Coffee Bean because she was too busy drooling over the barista...and the lustful chocolate doughnut...because the conversation was so dull, rather how she felt the commonalities you two had while talking on your sunset stroll. First dates already get a bad rep. You can change that though. Even if it doesn't work out for you two, atleast she will hold your first date up as the standard she expects with the other men in her future. And maybe they haven't read this awesome blog and they will fail miserably and she will then want you even more. Just sayin ;)
Next week: The first date etiquette
 |
| Sharp look for a dressier date. However lose the cocky smirk. |
 |
| There is something very appealing about dating royalty. Buuuut maybe this isn't the best tactic :-/ |
 |
| Sexy, dressy casual. Great for first date. And it's Tom Brady... so maybe if you dress like him you'll score your own Giselle :) |
 |
Not ok: going to the beach in a pink suit
and white pants. Again...NOT OK!!
 |
 |
| This will happen if your car does not smell fresh. This is no exaggeration. |
 |
| The first date stroll gone wrong. |
Comments
Post a Comment